Reflections on Phones, Social Media, and Teen Mental Health
“Dr. Becerra, How Much Screen Time Is Too Much?”
As a psychologist who works with adolescents and families every day, I get asked this question often: "How much screen time is too much?" And the truth is, there isn’t one magic number that fits every teen or every family. What matters more than the minutes on a screen is how the screen is being used, and how it’s making the teen feel, think, and function.
Let’s talk about it.
First, I want to say this—phones and social media aren’t all bad. In fact, they can offer some incredibly powerful opportunities for teens.
I’ve worked with many adolescents who’ve found real friendship and support online. Whether it’s through group chats, fan communities, or content creators who reflect their experiences, being digitally connected can reduce feelings of isolation. Especially for teens who might feel misunderstood in their everyday world—social media can become a bridge to others who get it.
It’s also a space for creativity. I’ve seen teens come alive when they’re editing videos, sharing original music, drawing digital art, or advocating for causes they believe in. Their phones become tools of expression, not just distraction.
And let’s not forget the access to information. Whether a teen is curious about mental health, struggling with identity, or just trying to figure out how to write a better essay, the internet can provide answers, support, and direction. I’ve had teens tell me they first learned how to cope with anxiety or seek help from watching a video or reading a thread online.
So yes—used intentionally, screens can offer connection, learning, and empowerment.
But I’ve also seen the other side—the kind that worries me as a psychologist.
There’s a quiet kind of exhaustion that creeps in when a teen spends more time scrolling through other people’s lives than living their own. I’ve sat with teens who felt like everyone else was happier, prettier, more popular, or more successful—just based on what they saw on social media. What they don’t always realize is that what’s posted online is often the highlight reel, not the behind-the-scenes.
And then there’s the late-night scrolling—teens who come into therapy groggy, irritable, and struggling to focus at school because they couldn’t put the phone down. Sleep is the foundation of emotional regulation, and without it, everything else—mood, memory, motivation—starts to slip.
Some of my clients have shared painful stories of online harassment or cyberbullying. When something cruel happens online, it doesn’t just disappear. Screens don’t turn off shame or fear. It stays with them, often silently, until it becomes too much.
And yes, sometimes what starts as just “checking something real quick” turns into hours lost in an endless scroll, a kind of digital trance. Over time, this can make it harder for teens to be present, to focus, to get bored and find something new to do—off-screen.
So, when parents or teens ask me, “Is it too much?”, I don’t go straight to time limits. I ask a few simple questions:
How does your teen feel after being on their phone or online? Energized or drained? Connected or lonely? Inspired or anxious?
Is screen time getting in the way of sleep, school, family time, or in-person relationships?
Are there other things your teen enjoys—or used to enjoy—that they’ve stopped doing?
If the answers raise red flags, it might be time to reset. Not necessarily a punishment or total ban—but a chance to create some new boundaries, together.
In my work with families, I often suggest creating phone-free spaces or rituals—like no screens at the dinner table, or winding down without devices at least 30 minutes before bedtime. Even something as simple as charging the phone outside the bedroom can make a big difference in sleep quality.
I also encourage parents to model the kind of screen use they want their teens to adopt. If your phone is always in hand, teens will notice. If you talk openly about your own challenges with screen time or social media comparison, it opens the door for them to do the same.
And most importantly, keep the conversation going. Ask your teen about what they’re seeing online. Not just in a “gotcha” way—but with real curiosity. Ask what makes them laugh, what’s been bothering them, or what creators they love to follow. These small conversations can become bridges that help you stay connected—even when your teen is growing more independent.
If screen time is affecting your teen’s mood, behavior, or overall mental health, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist. Sometimes, the phone isn’t the problem—it’s the escape. Helping teens understand why they’re turning to their devices can be a powerful part of healing.
Mental health support doesn’t always mean there’s something “wrong”—it means we’re paying attention and making space for what matters. And that matters a lot in today’s digital world.
Technology is here to stay. Social media isn’t going anywhere. And that’s okay.
The goal isn’t to eliminate screens—it’s to teach our teens (and ourselves) how to use them with intention, awareness, and balance. Like any powerful tool, it’s all about how it’s used.
When used wisely, our phones can connect us, inspire us, and even help us grow. But when they start to take more than they give, it’s worth slowing down and making a shift.
If you're wondering whether your family needs a reset or how to support your teen in building healthier tech habits, you’re not alone. And you don’t have to figure it out alone either.
Warmly,
Dr. Becerra
